Don’t let child abuse damage your career

Child abuse is just as serious in the military as it is in the civilian sector. However, the high-stress environment of the military means a stable two-parent home can become a one-parent home when a service member deploys. There can be more moves and more emotional stress than in a civilian home.

But the military also has standards - and those who maltreat their children can face problems more wide-ranging than their civilian counterparts.

The Department of Defense recognizes this, and each branch of service has a family advocacy program to help families work through the stresses and prevent maltreatment of children and other family members.

Air Force Maj. Michael Burpee, family advocacy officer at the Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson hospital, explained there is a process for families with a suspected case of child maltreatment.

"We bring the parents and all the children for interviews and assessments," Burpee said. Every possible family member is asked about the family dynamic and what, if any, maltreatment is going on.

After the assessment is made, it is presented at the Central Registry Board. On JBER, that board consists of Army Col. Timothy R. Prior, deputy joint base commander and vice commander of the 673d Air Base Wing, as well as representatives from the office of the judge advocate, security forces, family advocacy and senior enlisted personnel.
The board follows a decision-making tree to determine if the case meets criteria as child maltreatment. If it does - and only about 30 percent of referrals on JBER meet those criteria - it can have far-reaching repercussions.

Most cases can be solved with intervention by Family Advocacy - although it's better to use the program's preventive services, such as the New Parent Support Program or the Home Improvement anger-management class.

Parenting classes offered by Family Advocacy include instructions on time-outs, communication skills, and consistency. In two-parent households, Burpee explained, it's important both parents use the same techniques to reduce children's confusion.

Often, education is all that's needed. A parent might be referred to family advocacy because they left a child unattended in a car on a cold day. It may not have affected the child much on that occasion, but nonetheless, the parents might not know that it's illegal in the state and against base policy to leave a child alone in a vehicle when it's hot or cold out, or perhaps they didn't understand the risks.

"We provide parents with information regarding children being left alone at home, or being on a playground unattended," said Burpee. "There are age-appropriate standards for when that's okay and when it isn't."

Base housing authorities and the chain of command can also refer service members for having unsanitary or unsafe housing conditions.

"We make sure that they understand the risk levels of having dangerous things - from the immediate risk of open electrical sockets to the long-term emotional impact of growing up in a chaotic, disorganized or dirty living situation," said Burpee.

"That has an impact on the child's sense of self-worth and can contribute to anxiety and depression."

When Family Advocacy receives a referral, or any time there is an allegation of maltreatment, it's triaged to determine whether it meets a threshold of a real threat to child safety. If it does, it's referred to the State of Alaska's Office of Children's Service, security forces and the chain of command.

"People should know that our first goal is the safety and well-being of military children," Burpee said. "Secondly, when a situation is identified and Family Advocacy is expecting to intervene, we want to help the service member remain in the service and help the family, with tools to prevent another problem. In the majority of cases, we can do that.

"A referral to Family Advocacy doesn't need to negatively impact a career; in fact, the earlier we get a referral, the more likely that person's career is able to be saved, because we can intervene."

When there isn't time to go to an anger-management class or calling the New Parent Support Program is the furthest thing from a stressed family member's mind, there are coping strategies, Burpee said.

"It's okay for a baby or toddler to cry," Burpee said. "Parents get frustrated when a child won't stop crying, but often they keep holding it and trying to console it.

But there are moments it's okay to put the child in a crib or in a safe room, and get away for a few minutes.

Sometimes the child just won't be consoled, and the parent is frustrated, and then shaking the baby is a real risk, but it's a preventable action. It's okay to just step away for a few minutes."

There are also neighbors, friends, and people from the unit who can take a child for a little while, when a parent is feeling too stressed.

"Sometimes parents feel guilty, like they're not stepping up or they're failing somehow," Burpee said. "But it's better parenting to recognize when you've reached the end of your rope, and let someone else step in."

For older children, he said, reaching the point of frustration often just takes stepping back and redirecting the child's attention.

"If the child is upset about something in particular, don't get into it right then. Come back later, and ask what you can both do to improve those reactions in the future," Burpee said. "Kids like it when you come to them in a calm and rational manner."

Burpee stressed that calling Family Advocacy for help will not result in any investigation or notification of the chain of command.

"Someone seeking services can connect and call Family Advocacy - if it's for preventive care, there's no case opened, we're not notifying anyone," he said.

Bringing in the family for interviews in the case of a referral to the program can be seen as very intrusive, Burpee said. Family Advocacy personnel understand that, and are careful to take that step only when the referral meets a certain threshold.

"We want to make sure we're doing everything possible for children," he said. "But we also respect people's privacy and their right to choose how to parent. It's a balance."